Driving my daughter to my sis' house we come down our normal back road. We're doing the speed limit. Both hands on the wheel. Headset in, just in case someone calls me at 7:15 in the morning. We pass a policeman (aka POPO)...Mr. Popo is sitting at a stop sign with a cell phone to his ear. Ironically I almost pulled out my cell phone to take a picture of him on his.
Well if he can do it.....why can't I?
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
The great cookie migration: When 3 become 2
In the land of the giants the cookies take their migration....
Over the long spanning Keyboard Mountains......
Through paperclip valley.......
and deep into the deadly pen forest....
They keep going, knowing they have to make it through..........little does one of them know, two have formed an alliance....they have a plan...
They conspire together........
In the end, the little cookie didn't know what was coming...
His last memories are his "friends" yelling "Walk the plank yee cookie!!!"
RIP little cookie, RIP
Over the long spanning Keyboard Mountains......
Through paperclip valley.......
and deep into the deadly pen forest....
They keep going, knowing they have to make it through..........little does one of them know, two have formed an alliance....they have a plan...
They conspire together........
In the end, the little cookie didn't know what was coming...
His last memories are his "friends" yelling "Walk the plank yee cookie!!!"
RIP little cookie, RIP
Bobby pins....friend or foe?
It's a normal Tuesday, same traffic, same people here/no here, desk is the same, office the same...just another average Tuesday....or so I thought. Here I am, minding my own business at my desk. Pleasantly working along, typing away, listening to the interoffice discussions that tend to amuse me. Suddenly something wiggles down the back of my shirt. Immediately my mind thinks...bug? spider? creature? flea? But I can't freak out because I am sitting at my desk and will get funny looks. Yes, that's me, always trying to make a good impression. I go still, glance around and feel around the back of my shirt...nothing. And then.............a bobby pin. The bobby pin, once located in my hair, had fallen out of my hair and down the back of my shirt. What if I had freaked out? My office may have thought I was going nuts and escorted me out...I can see it now...."Tonight on the 11 o'clock news...file clerk escorted out of downtown office building, claims she was under attack....more news at 11."
Friend or foe? you make the call.
Friend or foe? you make the call.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Transponder v3
The transponder now lives, pleasantly, directly below my rearview mirror; can't really even see the little bugger. Cute though, it's gray. :-)
Pros - it makes me look sufisticated.
Cons - i still have to pay to ride the express lane and 5/5 times I have driven in it I get stuck behind some weenie who finds it acceptable to do 60 in a 65mph EXPRESS lane.
Lesson: Getting stuck behind a pleasantly ignorant driver doing 5miles under the speed limit sucks, paying to get stuck behind a pleasantly ignorant driver doing 5miles under the speed limit is painful.
Pros - it makes me look sufisticated.
Cons - i still have to pay to ride the express lane and 5/5 times I have driven in it I get stuck behind some weenie who finds it acceptable to do 60 in a 65mph EXPRESS lane.
Lesson: Getting stuck behind a pleasantly ignorant driver doing 5miles under the speed limit sucks, paying to get stuck behind a pleasantly ignorant driver doing 5miles under the speed limit is painful.
Amusement for Monday...
It seems to me that the most intriguing things take place while in my car. Could be due to the fact that I am in my car for 4 hours every day, or purely from my desire to find amusement during grid-lock traffic.
Hussy-Lady-Driver-With-Anger-Management issues: proceeded to ride my ass for 20 miles in hopes of passing me, crossing the double white lines twice and almost causing 3 car wrecks.
Advice to situation 1: if you are going to ride my ass at least pull my hair
Hussy-Lady-Driver-With-Anger-Management issues: proceeded to ride my ass for 20 miles in hopes of passing me, crossing the double white lines twice and almost causing 3 car wrecks.
Advice to situation 1: if you are going to ride my ass at least pull my hair
Friday, September 24, 2010
And the frog too....
At the beginning of the school year, a whole 3 weeks ago, one of the forms my daughter brings home is a permission slip to take pets home. I guess the class has a few pets and they allow the kids to take them home from time to time.
Option 1: Lizard
I kept thinking about the Geico commercials and how little they are. Yes, I do know the Geico guy is a gecko, but this conversation only has to make sense to me. (So for the sake of my own conversation with myself I am using it as a comparison.) If my cat didn't eat it, I am sure my dog would try to play with it...husky v. lizard...you make the call on that one. Plus, I don't want to have to clean up lizard poo; I am sure my daughter won't either.
Option 2: Frog
I don't have much experience with frogs, except that when you kiss them a prince emerges. There will be no frog kissing in my house thank you! Plus, I hear these buggers are fast....I don't care for chasing a frog around the house. I'm sure my daughter would be too hysterical watching me try to catch the frog to lend a hand. Go figure.
Option 3: Guinea pig
The few guinea pigs I have come in contact with have bit me, maybe it's my wonderful personality they don't care for? Plus, I keep thinking about G-Force, the movie, and that scene... "poop in his hand, poop in his hand!!" After much thought, I recall I've had a pet rat before, this is just like a giant rat. I did good with my rat so I can aid my daughter in her guinea pig babysitting journey for the weekend.
Today I casually ask when her weekend is, she gives yesterdays date. I reply with, "no biggie, we can take a guinea pig this weekend, no problem, but that was yesterday, you may want to ask your teacher about it." Her reply, "I signed up for the frog." After much conversing...turns out she circled BOTH the guinea pig AND the frog.
I feel like I am starting my own animal kingdom. I pray there was a clause in small print stating they would never send 2 animals home with 1 child, if for the parents sanity at least. It's possible I could have missed it... ? (wishful thinking I suppose)
Amen it is only for 1 weekend.
Option 1: Lizard
I kept thinking about the Geico commercials and how little they are. Yes, I do know the Geico guy is a gecko, but this conversation only has to make sense to me. (So for the sake of my own conversation with myself I am using it as a comparison.) If my cat didn't eat it, I am sure my dog would try to play with it...husky v. lizard...you make the call on that one. Plus, I don't want to have to clean up lizard poo; I am sure my daughter won't either.
Option 2: Frog
I don't have much experience with frogs, except that when you kiss them a prince emerges. There will be no frog kissing in my house thank you! Plus, I hear these buggers are fast....I don't care for chasing a frog around the house. I'm sure my daughter would be too hysterical watching me try to catch the frog to lend a hand. Go figure.
Option 3: Guinea pig
The few guinea pigs I have come in contact with have bit me, maybe it's my wonderful personality they don't care for? Plus, I keep thinking about G-Force, the movie, and that scene... "poop in his hand, poop in his hand!!" After much thought, I recall I've had a pet rat before, this is just like a giant rat. I did good with my rat so I can aid my daughter in her guinea pig babysitting journey for the weekend.
Today I casually ask when her weekend is, she gives yesterdays date. I reply with, "no biggie, we can take a guinea pig this weekend, no problem, but that was yesterday, you may want to ask your teacher about it." Her reply, "I signed up for the frog." After much conversing...turns out she circled BOTH the guinea pig AND the frog.
I feel like I am starting my own animal kingdom. I pray there was a clause in small print stating they would never send 2 animals home with 1 child, if for the parents sanity at least. It's possible I could have missed it... ? (wishful thinking I suppose)
Amen it is only for 1 weekend.
Automotive Bulima
Although my little Ms. Focus gets 25mpg on most trips, it appears to still have a problem with Automotive Bulima. It often consumes mass amounts of gasoline within short amounts of time. This is then followed by purging of said gas, as exhaust, during commute traffic and other times when the car is running.
Her health situation is affecting her, myself, and a bank account. Said bank account, that prefers to remain nameless, is upset in this situation as Ms. Focus is using her on a constant basis. Said bank account feels used and over worked; not a good way to continue a relationship. Said bank account is also continual state of feeling and actually being drained of all use.
As owner of Ms. Focus it is my duty to ensure she is up to date on all necessary checkups and free of leaks or problems. To date she is all up to date and no leaking is taking place, I even checked her blinker fluid as rumor has it that cars often leak from their blinker unknowingly. I have exhausted all possible efforts in order to resolve this problem; going the speed limit, not accelerating with a lead foot, and using her mostly for freeway situations.
Often, in relationships, people trade one in for another type. This is usually a very emotional time for all involved, but sometimes it is necessary. Ms. Focus may not be able to speak or hear but if I casually mention several hundred times that I may replace her with a younger model, she may pick up her attitude and address the problem. She might not. She may take my threats to heart and give up by taking matters into her own hands; I pray it does not come to that.
The first step is getting Ms. Focus to admit she has a problem, this may prove to be difficult as she is an inadament object and thus lacks the ability to converse. To be continued.....
Her health situation is affecting her, myself, and a bank account. Said bank account, that prefers to remain nameless, is upset in this situation as Ms. Focus is using her on a constant basis. Said bank account feels used and over worked; not a good way to continue a relationship. Said bank account is also continual state of feeling and actually being drained of all use.
As owner of Ms. Focus it is my duty to ensure she is up to date on all necessary checkups and free of leaks or problems. To date she is all up to date and no leaking is taking place, I even checked her blinker fluid as rumor has it that cars often leak from their blinker unknowingly. I have exhausted all possible efforts in order to resolve this problem; going the speed limit, not accelerating with a lead foot, and using her mostly for freeway situations.
Often, in relationships, people trade one in for another type. This is usually a very emotional time for all involved, but sometimes it is necessary. Ms. Focus may not be able to speak or hear but if I casually mention several hundred times that I may replace her with a younger model, she may pick up her attitude and address the problem. She might not. She may take my threats to heart and give up by taking matters into her own hands; I pray it does not come to that.
The first step is getting Ms. Focus to admit she has a problem, this may prove to be difficult as she is an inadament object and thus lacks the ability to converse. To be continued.....
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Transponder v2
I get my own transponder.....will it aide me? Who knows. I will love it and cherish it, purely because it is costing me an arm and a leg to attempt to take advantage of this new express lane.
Amen for the "cancel" option
Amen for the "cancel" option
Word of the day: "Damng"
It is a conjunction of "damn" and "dang"
Dang's definition is damn.
Damn's definition is "the smallest amount of concern or consideration"
When those powers combine...they make.........
Damng - a double damn, consisting much of dang and little consideration
(definition of damn courtesy of google define search)
Dang's definition is damn.
Damn's definition is "the smallest amount of concern or consideration"
When those powers combine...they make.........
Damng - a double damn, consisting much of dang and little consideration
(definition of damn courtesy of google define search)
Encounters of the Pissant Kind
When, as a pissant of the clerical kind, you are approached by Hotshots, of the managerial kind, it is important to attempt to converse with them. Initiating a conversation is usually not necessary, hotshots believe they should be spoken to at all times. While smiling and nodding is normally sufficient, it will not suffice in an encounter such as this. When, as a pissant, you express your thoughts please be prepared to be informed to the contrary. Hotshots will, at all times, inform you of how you should think and they do not need an invitation to do so. Hotshots will typically exemplify this type of behavior while you are stuck on an elevator ride with them. It is also not appropriate to post about this behavior on Facebook or another social networking site, as by that point you would be stating an opinion. As we learned early in this post, having an opinion is not necessary; a hotshot will provide it to you. Instead, the proper response is to smile, laugh jokingly and walk away as the elevator opens. Then proceed to eat your bagel at your half desk thanking the lord for bagel Thursday.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
End of Day 1
Today I started a blog for no other reason than my own amusement. I also managed to lose a ring of mine; serves me right taking it off and leaving it in my lap. At least it wasn't my wedding ring, AMEN!
I am off to do some homework and probably mess with this blog some more.
"Beetlejuice"
You know in beetlejuice when there are in the "underworld" and Beetlejuice hits on that girl and she shrinks his head? How can I do that? Not hit on a girl, but shrink my head...?
Not that I have an abnormally large dome, it's normal size - okay slightly on the large size. The problem, in my opinion, is that my brain is trying to escape. Since the docs can find nothing "wrong" with me - the only possibility is that my brain is growing at a large rate, thus pressing on my skull and causing me these ridiculous migraines.
I can't quit school, although that sounds tempting, and it may relieve the brain growth issue. I do not have an inflated ego, ask anyone...I'm as timid as they come. The doc did suggest de-stressing. Ain't that a crock? Is there a class called "destressing for dummies"? Google claims there are 722,000 hits for "destressing for dummies" - the first one being:
Ten Ways to De-stress at Work
Yes, in that extremely large font. The font itself makes my head hurt worse. No worse than their suggestion that is. It appears (according to them) the solution is to move around and stretch towards the sky and listening to harmonic music while organizing my desk and attempting to visual a resting spot (without falling asleep) all while doing jumping jacks, typing correctly and eating a snickers. Sounds pretty stressful to me…..if that isn't sure to keep the migraine on, then the taunting by my co-workers for weird behaviour sure will.
And ddeeennn ?
Transponder
I will talk about this item often - 4 hours of my day are spent in my car, so objects in my car are not near as funny and entertaining to anyone else as they are to me, but...I have to share anyways. This is my blog, so HA!
Nifty little tool courtesy of Fastrak. Technically it's not my tool, it belongs to my husband, but I have tried it out for 2 days now. I call it my "transponder."
It has provided me with a sense of power. Driving past all those other commuters, them looking at me thinking..."damn girl thinks she can ride carpool..."
Alright, I lied. No power trip at all. In fact yesterday it got me to work no quicker then without it. Today I came in late anyways, so it served no purpose.
Is it worth it's $2.50 fee.......hmmmmm...........(to be continued)
Nifty little tool courtesy of Fastrak. Technically it's not my tool, it belongs to my husband, but I have tried it out for 2 days now. I call it my "transponder."
It has provided me with a sense of power. Driving past all those other commuters, them looking at me thinking..."damn girl thinks she can ride carpool..."
Alright, I lied. No power trip at all. In fact yesterday it got me to work no quicker then without it. Today I came in late anyways, so it served no purpose.
Is it worth it's $2.50 fee.......hmmmmm...........(to be continued)
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